The Field
for Eurydice Dixon
I am the girl led out into the field / The woman in the blue
business suit holding a paper coffee cup / waiting
to cross / Hit by a car and thrown in the boot / The woman forced
to dig her own grave / I lose my eyes to acid / I call 999
and say There’s an intruder inside the house /They tell me
Find something heavy… A golf club? Can you go to a neighbour’s
house? /They give out blunt knives / Advise a stab vest
beneath my clothes / I am in the bathroom when he decides /
When he puts on his trainers for extra leverage / In the dark,
I do not see that he has removed the passenger seat / I smell the chloroform
too late / I hear a careful step before I feel the blow /
I marvel at my wet, bloody hand as I move it along
the back of my head and bring it to my face / The moon shines
on his throat / The moon shines on the field /
I am walking with my sisters when the group of men appear /
I am the woman in the stadium / I feel the first stone /
It is the first time I am allowed to walk to the bus stop
alone / He says Women unconsciously long for a man to take
control /My body is found in the river / My body is found in the
alley / They think it is a bundle of rags at first / My face slowly
uncovered / The soil brushed away / My drowned hand
where the skin sloughs off like a glove / My skull waiting for him
to return / I am the girl in the dumping ground / The 1 in 4; 3 in 5;
1 in 10 / I am 18, 22, 46, 78, 14 / A mannequin this night / So still
in the moonlight / So quiet, then realising they are gone
something forces me to run / He puts a mirror underneath so he can watch
himself / He says I know what you are /The moon pools in his throat /
And all the time I am digging I am thinking I’m glad it is me
not her / I am cleaning the window outside the shop / Herding
goats when the men come / Hanging out the washing on the
line / Walking along the river with the dog /
I am the woman silent through it all / The girl
who screams / The woman who fights / I am the girl who travels
somewhere else / The out-of-body girl / The woman who dies
and floats to the branches of a tree / The girl who watches
while the paramedics try to bring her back to this world of mud /
And it is so cold here (in the field) / And it is so cold here
(in the tree) / So pure and cold and brittle with the breath of angels.
Wes Lee